This is not the post I had intended to write today. I had intended to write about some messy fun we recently had with coloured spagetti. That will keep for another time. Today I’m writing from the heart. Today I’m sharing with you how it really is. The last few days have been tough. R’s behaviour has been uncharacteristically difficult and the last two days have brought me to the brink of exhaustion and despair. I’ve been truly at my wit’s end. So how have I been handling it? In a word, badly. There is a light at the end of the tunnel however, and that’s why I’m writing this post. There are tools I use and continue to learn from every day which I want to share with you. After several days of stress and challenging behaviour, I applied a strategy today which turned everything around in an instant. An immediate resolution. I want to share with you the support system that gets me through the toughest parts of parenting and let’s face it, it IS tough. It’s exhausting. In a nutshell, it’s hard word. But the rewards! Oh, those blessed, life affirming, soul soaring, make my heart sing rewards. To be a parent is to know love and joy on a level I never thought possible. So what went so wrong lately and how did I turn it around?
For the past few days, R and I have been very disconnected. We were experiencing tantrums, crying, defiance and general moodiness that is usually unseen from him. I was feeling overwhelmed and drained which meant I was not handling the situation the way that I normally would. It had been going on for a few days and I was at the end of my tether.
Here’s what happened at lunchtime today. R is always given a choice about what he eats. Today he chose a chicken sandwich. I made him the sandwich as requested but as I made it I called out from the kitchen “I’m putting lettuce on your sandwich R, and you have to eat it. I’m sick of you not eating salad.” I also put mayonaise on the sandwich which I know he doesn’t like but I decided it would taste better – with no regard to his tastes or preferences. There are so many things wrong with how I handled making that lunch, I don’t even know where to begin. I do not usually use phrases such as ”you have to…” or “I’m sick of…” and I do not usually prepare something for him that I know he doesn’t like without talking to him first about trying something new. Unsurprisingly, when I served him the sandwich, R refused to even touch it. After 15 minutes I said “Eat your sandwich. You haven’t even touched it”. “NO!” came the angry response. I was taken aback. I never hear that tone from R. Normally our conversations are calm and we can agree on a resolution to situations like this. We had planned to visit the library after lunch so I used this as leverage (Once again, this is something I never usually do – using something he enjoys to bribe him into a certain action or behaviour). Of course, it was completely ineffective. He still refused to even touch the sandwich. ”We’re not going anywhere until you eat that sandwich.” He moved from his chair. My reaction? An angry ”You will not move from that chair until you eat that sandwich!” I could barely believe the words as they left my mouth. This is not how we do things around here. Still, I was at the end of my tether and I couldn’t back down now. This went on for over an hour. An entire precious hour! Over a silly little sandwich! “Fine. Well I guess we’re not going to the library at all then. You will not move from that chair until you eat that sandwich. No library, no toys. Nothing. You will just sit in that chair for the rest of the day.” He clenched his fists and barked gruffly “Grrrr. This day is making me grumpy!” What he meant was “You Mummy, are making me grumpy”. I had plummeted into all sorts of behaviour and techniques that were disrespectful and which deep down I knew would be ineffectual. Behaviours that had the attitude of “I am the parent and therefore you will do what I say”. This was not me. It’s not how I parent and it was no wonder it wasn’t working. I’m not sure what made me snap out of it but as I sat there, exhausted, frustrated and just plain sad, I remembered a post I read a few days ago from Dr. Laura Markham about always coming from love. The strategy shared in that post was as simple as it gets “Choose Love”. It was a reminder of everything I believe in as a parent and all the principles I usually follow. Immediately I knew what I needed to do. I felt a sense of calm flood over me and I had found my way again. I took R in my arms, spoke softly and sincerely and looked directly into his eyes as I said “I know you don’t like the sandwich, and I’m sorry that you’re frustrated, but it’s the lunch I’ve made and as soon as you finish it, we can go to the library, ok?” And what do you think happened? Silently, calmly, immediately, R sat down and ate the sandwich! Just like that. After more than an hour of arguing and poor behaviour (from me) and stress, all it took was coming from a point of love. Uusing a calm, respectful tone. Viewing the situation from R’s point of view and acknowledging his feelings.
Suddenly the cause of the problem from the last few days became clear to me. I had been focusing all the negativity on R. He was being defiant and unco-operative. He was throwing tantrums. He was crying all the time over things that would not normally upset him, and never listening to anything I said. I had wondered what was causing this uncharacteristic behaviour in my usually calm, co-operative and loving boy. I had been looking to him for the cause, when what I needed to do was look inwards. I needed to assess my own behaviour. There are a few events coming up for me which are causing me stress and I was allowing this stress to spill out as fustration and short temperedness and my gentle parenting techniques flew out the window. I had not been applying any of the parenting principals in which I believe so strongly, which I normally adhere to and which I know really work. I just needed to stop and look at my own behaviour to know why R’s was so off recently.
So what are these tools and techniques? What is the support system that has seen me through the tough side of parenting and which helped me re-focus and get things back on track with R so quickly today? Well, there are quite a few principals and techniques I use, which of course could not all be covered in one post, and certainly not in the brief paragraphs that I have written below. I’ll share my experiences of using these principles in real life situations, how they have worked for me, and why I believe in them so strongly in future posts. For now though, if you feel lost in a constant round of battles with you children, and you feel as though you are just not “getting through” to them, I hope the links below will be a starting point for you in finding a sense of calm and joy in your parenting. I am not saying I’m a perfect parent and these are the things you should do and all your problems will be over. The above description of my last few days is proof that I’m far from perfect and that I’m not always mindful of these principles. That’s my whole point in writing this. I make mistakes and I fall short. The ideas and websites that I’ve listed below have helped me along my way and perhaps they might help you too.
So here is the list of principles that I have found to be truly helpful in acheiving a state of peaceful parenting. They have helped our family to avoid tantrums or to diffuse them quickly if they do occur.
Mindful parenting.
For me, mindful parenting means looking inwards and keeping myself in check. It means learning to recognise the stressors in my life and dealing with them effectively so that my stress, fatigue and anxiety does not spill over to my parenting.
Coming from a point of love.
Parenting is less about how your child behaves than it is about how you react to that behaviour. React from a place of empathy and love.
Viewing situations from my child’s point of view.
When I am committed to seeing a situation from R’s point of view, instead of just my own, things are much easier to resolve. My frustration is eliminated and R is calmer because he feels heard and understood.
Acknowledging and validating my child’s feelings.
This has been the most powerful tool I have learned and it is the easiest to apply. When R is crying, or frustrated and on the verge of a tantrum, I simply make a statement acknowledging and validating his feelings. Statements like “I know you are frustrated right now”, or “I understand you are sad because…” or “It’s ok to cry”, “It’s ok to feel sad”, “It’s ok to feel frustrated” can turn a situation around in an instant.
Here are my sources of inspiration and education on mindful, peaceful and gentle parenting. There are many wonderful books, websites an blogs that I read and learn from, but these are the ones I read every day. The ones that have impacted me hugely.
Dr. Laura Markham at AhaParenting
I found AhaParenting almost two years ago, at a point when I really needed it, and it turned things around for me in an instant. Every single article from Dr.Markham is helpful and inspiring. Her parenting advice is practical and effective, and comes from a place of the deepest love and respect. Her positive parenting strategies have been invaluable to me and they are at the core of who I am as a parent. You can find her on Facebook or at AhaParenting.
Positive Parenting
This site is a constant sourc of inspiration. They share a wealth of practical advice on ways to connect with your kids. Here is their Facebook page and here is the Positive Parenting website.
Teacher Tom
OK, so not a parenting site as such, but Teacher Tom knows kids. He has helped me see the world from a preschooler’s point of view. There is joy and inspiration in everything he writes. If you are not already familiar with his blog, please do check it out. Teacher Tom is on Facebook and his blog is HERE.
Let’s Lasso the Moon
Let’s Lasso the Moon is a constant source of inspiration for me. Zina is always reminding me to notice the details, to see beauty in the everyday, to be curious and passionate. Her mission to keep the light of curiosity in our children’s eyes and foster their love of learning is something I have felt passionate about even before I became a mother. Visit Let’s Lasso the Moon on Facebook, via the Let’s Lasso the Moon website, or see Zina’s Lifetime Love of Learning Boards on Pinterest.
Awsomely Awake
Awsomely Awake is where I find inspiration for creating family memories. Shawn offers practical ways to be mindful and slow down. Find Awsomely Awake online or on Facebook.
Picklebums
Picklebums is one of the few blogs that I read each and every day regardless of how busy I am. I follow hundreds of blogs, so it’s impossible to read all of them every day but I never miss a single post from Picklebums. Kate has a way of just telling it like it is that is reassuring, inspiring and usually very funny. You can find Picklebums online here or on Facebook.
The Golden Gleam
Rebekah at The Golden Gleam has a magical series call “Joy in Minutes”. The posts in this series are short and sweet and offer simple ways to find joy in the little moments. A new series has also begun on The Golden Gleam called “We Get It” where parents share their experiences of challenging parenting situations and how they have coped. Click HERE for the Joy in Minutes series and Click HERE for the “We Get It” series. The Golden Gleam can also be found on Facebook.
Finally, there is my “Parenting Inspiration“ Pinterest board. This is where I pin all the parenting posts I know I will want to read again and again.
I hope you will find some of these resources helpful and inspiring. Do you have a favourite parenting resource? Let’s share in the comments.
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Thank you, thank you! And hugs to you for enduring this phase. It’s a phase, right? : ) The one thing I wish for is that we all realize that this is hard and we have to repair our souls after each hard phase. Then breathe, and find the positive. Some phases are harder than others, that’s for sure! I am honored to see Awesomely Awake hightlighted here as a resource. The blogosphere is just incredible.
Thank you Shawn! It was a tough day but the positive is that I did just stop for a minute and breathe and I realised where I was going wrong and now we’re back on track.
We are always reading about (or seeing through pins, pictures, etc.) the joyful, peaceful moments that moms have with their children. It is wonderful to read about the trails and tribulations that others are going through – not wonderful because they you experiencing them, but wonderful because we can see that we are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your strategies for dealing with these situations. I can’t wait to look through a few of the resources that you have listed that I’m not familiar with!
Hi Gina. I hope you enjoy some of the sites and links that I shared.
This is a fabulous post! I’m following you from KBN. So glad I stopped by.
Susan thank you so much! I adore your blog and it really means a lot to me that you enjoyed this post.
Oh you just made my day with your lovely words!!!
We all have those moments when it feels like nothing goes right, we are the worst parent in the world and we have no idea where to go next… well at least I do… all the time! And sometimes taking a moment to re-group, to read something inspiring like this post, or just take a breath really helps… your R is lucky to have you as a mum!
Thank you Kate! That’s what I love about your blog. It’s honest and reminds me that everyone is “perfectly imperfect”.
I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you.
For a long time now Ive been wondering about something, whenever we visit my parents my son becomes uncooperative and uncharacteristically bad behaved, and for a day or so after they left or we return home he will be like this, also sleeping worse than normal. As I read your post I could see my mom standing infront of my boy like she did this weekend telling him very sternly that he will do as he is told (please note he is 19m although a very clever 19m) and suddenly it clicked! THAT was the problem, thats why he behaves this way with her around. Hubby was very mad, especialy over this spesific senario and told me to tell my mum that he doesn’t appreciate her interfering in our way of teaching our son or her “yelling” at him (not that she was yelling, but close to it, and sometimes she WILL yeall, especialy at night) and now I understand why a lot more! Just don’t really know how to handle it with her
Hi Surita. Thank you so much for visiting and for taking the time to comment. Perhaps you could try talking to your Mom when your son is not around, and tell her that you and your husband have been reading about/putting into practise a new parenting style (even though it’s not really new to you). Explain a bit about the philosophy and why you feel it is right for your family. Let her know the positive outcomes it has brought about for you. Then you could say to her that you would really like to ask her help in applying this new parenting style and make her feel part of the whole process. Perhaps give her a book on the subject or point her in the direction of an attachment parenting website. When she sees how important it is to you she could be really receptive to the idea. This way, you haven’t said we like our approach and we don’t like your approach. Instead, you’ve created a team effort between you, your husband, and your mom.
Thank you for reassuring me that despite my best efforts, i am not the only mom that sometimes has a day where they are exhausted & makes mistakes. thank you for the reminder to just love them. it’s such a simple & powerful message. a great reminder when i needed it! so glad i stumbled upon your site. i will be following uou now-eager to learn more! thank you
Hi Crystal! Thank you so much for your lovely comment. None of us are perfect and we all have bad days. Knowing that others are in the same boat really helps.
Oh I love this. Bless you for posting today. I suffered thru my almost 2 year old daughter shrieking her way thru the Randalls grocery store by our house. It started when her brother (4) was torturing her in the little “car” section of the cart, so I took her out and carried instead. Then she kept lunging at the cart to “help” push. Then she kicked off her crocs. I tried putting her in the cart to sit, but to no avail. Finally the shrieking started. Ohhh it was not pretty. There were so many things I could have tried, but I didn’t. I don’t know why. I’m tired, wrapping up my last week working FT,and staying home with the munchkins after that. I’ve read every blog and article about positive parenting. All I did was tell her to be quiet repeatedly & gently cover her mouth – I even tried whispering to her myself and nothing worked. The lady at the checkout stand must have been a Gramma – she was slowly checking out the 15 people in front of me (mentally I am begging her to speed it up!!) The loud shrieking continued and I just wanted to hide or abandon the shopping cart altogether. When it was our turn, the “Gramma clerk” spoke quietly and said “oh poor dear, she must be tired or want to go home and play with her toys” and then offered her a sticker, which of course my daughter took happily and stopped her shrieking immediately. Why hadn’t I thought of giving her something to help entertain her and gotten mad/frustrated?! Or asked her what she wanted!? Sigh. Even some random lady in the parking lot asked if my daughter was ok now. Ahhh. Maybe I need to find a different location to shop
I’ve been there! It’s not always easy to remember a postitive parenting technique when we are tired (personally I find grocery shopping exhausting even when I do it on my own!!) and stressed out.
Perfect timing for me to read your post today… just came back from an unplanned trip away from my daughter for the very first time and was quite surprised at some of the behaviors I was seeing… little stress and not enough love shown can be a terrible combo. Thanks for sharing some of our favorite sites to follow too. I would add Becky Bailey at http://consciousdiscipline.com/ to the list too.
Hi Kim! Thank you so much for sharing the link to Becky Bailey’s site.I wasn’t familiar her before now. Lots of wonderful info over there. Her book “Managing Emotional Mayhem” is now on my wish list. I really love how she talks about things from the persepctive of us parents adjusting how we handle situations in order to help our children deal with their emotions.
THANK YOU! I desperately needed to read this. I’ve been short with my 11mn DD and I’ve been blaming it on a leap but I think its my fault. My best friend is moving and I’m really upset about it and that’s clouding my parenting.
I also haven’t read my ahaparenting articles in 2wks so that might be part of it lol.
Hi Megan! Thanks so much for reading my post and for your comment! I’m the same way if I’ve been busy and haven’t read my Aha!Parenting articles for a couple of weeks. Isn’t it amazing how reading just one of Dr. Markham’s articles can bring you right back to where you need to be again?
Totally relate to this entire post!
Thank you for sharing it. I too have found that using love and simple, soft words allow things to go more smoothly – it is absolutely AMAZING!
Hi Julie! Thank you so much for being here and for your comment. It truly IS amazing isn’t it? It almost seems too simple to work but it is so very powerful.
This was such a refreshing and honest post. Thank you. I have found myself getting very worked up about things with my daughter lately and I pray constantly for God to help me see the world through her eyes. I really needed this right now as we are having a lot of trouble with whining and not listening and when I really think about it, I’m the problem. Not her. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment Iowa Farmer’s Wife. It’s not always easy to see things from our children’s perspectives but that’s the key.
Oh goodness…thank you for being so honest and sharing such wisdom and self reflection with us. I am sitting here at 1am trying to make sense of the terrible whining tantrum week i have had with my twin toddlers and wondering how i will get through tomorrow…you have just given me hope and i shall now step back and look at things differently tomorrow…thank you x
Hi Jode! I’m sorry to hear it’s bee a tough week. Hang in there. We all feel like that sometimes – wondering how we’ll get through another day. Just breathe, pause, and take it slow. (PS – I’m glad I’m not the only one still up at 1am!)
Wow! I really needed to read this!! Thank you!! I had such a terrible bedtime with my nearly four year old last night, which isn’t the norm and I realised it was me being tired and exhausted from a week where I worked ( something I’m trying to adjust to after being lucky enough to be a stay at home mum)!! I always feel very guilt ridden and upset when my usual way of dealing with my children turns in the wrong direction. It’s so easy to beat yourself up when things are tough!
Hi Lisa. Thank you for reading my post and for your comment. I can really relate to your situation! I work out of home two days a week and even though that doesn’t sound like much, there’s a long commute both ways and by the time R’s bed time rolls around, I am exhausted! Beditmes can be a real struggle and it takes all my powers of self control to stay focused and calm. You’re right though, it’s too easy to beat yourself up when things get tough. We need to be a bit more forgiving of ourselves. We are all doing the best we can in that particular moment.
this is a wonderful post. You have chosen the best 4 principles. And I love how honest you are about the fact that it isn’t easy to always remember to practice positive parenting. I too have found myself getting frustrated and angry and then remembering to see it from the childs perspective, and everything just softens. I’m sharing this on my FB page. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Monko! Thank you! This means so much to me. You really do inspire me every single day (truly!) and you make me laugh every day without fail too whether it be via your blog or KBN chats. I feel much better knowing I’m not alone in having the odd bad day or two. Thank you so much for sharing this on your FB page.
Great post! You know I love your blog and that is why I am passing on the Liebster blog award to you. Check my blog for details
LUV LUV LUV this post btw. You’ve sited some great resources 
Oh, wow! Thank you Jen!! I’m familiar with the Liebster award. I’ll pop over to your blog now. I’m so thrilled! Thank you. x
What a great post. It’s so easy sometimes to get off track. Thanks for the reminders.
Thank you Brooke! I really appreciate your kind words.
I had a similar moment with my daughter just the other day, and she’s only just turned 1! It’s amazing how early these techniques come into play, and how important it is for us to take a step back. Life is SO busy, and our own events and stressors can really get in the way if we let them. I appreciate your honesty in sharing a rough day and how you conquered it
Hi Alicia! Thank you for your comment. Your are so right about how these techniques can work from such a young age. I think R was just under two, or perhaps had just turned two when I first learned about positive parenting but even before that, I was practising positive and attachment parenting without realising my parenting style had a label, by carrying him everywhere, responding to his crying, not “sleep training” etc
This was an exquisite post Ness. Oh the things I have said and then thought WHY. HOW. What was I thinking? When I stop….slow down….breathe….and come from a place of love it always is so much better. Thanks for this. Truly lovely.
Hi Melissa! Thank you so much for your lovely comment and kind words, it truly means a lot to me. x
Hi Ness, loved this post so much I featured it on my post last night. Feel free to grab an “I was featured” button from my button page. I’d put the code in here but I don’t know what that might do – the button might turn up in the comments.
Hi Monko! Thank you! Your post is incredible and I’m honored that you chose to include mine on it. I’ll grab the featured button now too. x
Love the blog, its very easy to lose control and few simple things by keeping in mind can change the case. Happy Mother’s Day
Hi Sheetal! Thank you so much for your kind words and for your comment. A belated Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
This came to me at the most perfect time. We have been struggling with toddler tantrums and battles with both our children and we were saying our approach of time out etc just doesn’t feel right but I guess it’s all we knew. I will explore each and every link and continue to read your blog, Although I’m panicking about any damage we have caused to self esteem through this approach. I hope not
Hello Jen. Thank you so much for visiting and for your comment. I really hope you enjoy exploring the links in my post. There are three new links I’d like to share with you, which are specific to the issues you’ve raised in your comment. These links might be a helpful starting point for you. I have restrictions on my blog about how many links can be included in a single comment (it’s a techie thing to prevent spam), so I’ll be replying to your comment three times. OK, the first link is from Aha!Parenting about why time outs don’t work. At the very end of the post is a link to a list of practical ways you can use positive (loving) disclipline. Here’s the link http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/timeouts
Ok, here is the 2nd link which I think may be helpful for you. Please don’t feel that it’s too late to start with Positive Parenting. It’s never too late. Here is a wonderful post from The Single Crunch from a Mom who was feeling just like you. Is it too late? What damage have I caused? Please Jen, don’t feel that way. This Mom’s eldest daughter was 5 when she began practising Positive Parenting so it’s never too late. Here’s the post. It’s so encouraging. http://thesinglecrunch.com/2012/05/03/making-amends-with-an-older-child/
Here’s the 3rd link. This is a post from a wonderful Attachment Parenting sie called Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources. This particular post is all about one couple’s journey to finding attachment parenting, and how trusting your heart will bring you to the parenting style that is right for your family. http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2011/12/21/the-story-of-us25-years-and-counting/ I hope you find these links useful and good luck! Please keep in touch.
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply it means a lot. I have read heaps last night in bed and into the early hours and most of it makes perfect sense, I guess I am struggling a little with some of the “how to apply stuff” I downloaded the positive parenting e book which is great but some situations that crop up with us I’m unsure how to handle. Eg. it’s a work day (I work 3 days a week and have a long commute) I get organised the night before, in the morning my 3 year old is given a choice of things to wear but wants to wear shorts on a freezing day, I always get down to his level explain that it is cold why he needs to choose trousers but a tantrum starts. I have another 22 month old to dress and we need to get out the house, after 5 mins of saying I understand you love your shorts but we must wear trousers etc and continuing tantrum thrashing etc I don’t know what I’m supposed to do? So had been doing timeout
We need to leave and he needs to wear trousers as its 10 degrees outside! Also we have the same situation if we are at a friends house and it’s time to leave, even though I do the 5 min warning, offer something exciting at home etc he starts to go wild and nothing i can do calms him down and it comes to me carrying to the car kicking and screaming. With my youngets she has a pushing and hitting habit, usually unrelated to sharing etc and often to do with either not getting her way OR she will just go over to other children and start pushing hitting unprovoked. Again we have tried, hitting is not nice etc but sometimes she just hits me more and more, if im not doing time out and she is just continuing to hit me what do i do? Do we leave the park if she is hitting anothcan hold or me? (we have never spanked are usually fairly calm but have used timeout and yelled when we have got to a point where we cannot get cooperation and of course I want to stop both of these) thanks for any tips and sorry for the long post
Jen, would you email me? My email is on my about page.
Lovely. We follow those same principals.
Hi Maryanne! Thank you for your comment. You are such a gentle and peaceful Mom and you inspire me constantly. x
I am so glad I found the time tonight to read this powerful post. It’s so easy to lose sight of our parenting values if we are stressed and caught up in a bad moment. It has certainly happened to me before, more times than I’d like to admit. Your point about responding to a child with love really resonated with me. We went through a challenging phase with our daughter when she started preschool for the first time. When things got bad, I really thought about how I was responding, and not just focusing on her behavior. I realized I was responding out of fear and anger. When I started allowing myself to see her behavior through the love I had for her, it was so much easier to for me to act appropriately and be a better model of respect and love.
And I am so honored that my blog inspires you. It really makes what I do worthwhile to know that I am touching other lives. Thank you.
Hi Rebekah. Thank you for taking the time to read my post (seriously, the longest post in the history of blogging!) and for your comment. You really are touching lives with your blog.
Just wanted to let you know I shared this post on my FB page. It wouldn’t let me tag you to let you know so leaving a comment here. =)
Thank you so much Rebekah!
What an honest and powerful post. Thank you for sharing your experiences and resources. I know I often feel that same kind of exasperation lately due to my own tiredness and stresses, and I am consciously trying to be more mindful of their perspectives, and to try to parent ‘the way I used to parent’ before I got so tired and busy.
This post is another pointer to get me back on track again. Thank you!
Hi Jane. Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for your comment. I’m so happy that this post was helpful for you. It’s so easy to let the tiredness and stress get to us. I really hope that you find some of the resources that I listed to be helpful.
For me, it´s just going into my room for some minutes, PRAY and seek for GOD, then, if time allows, i can check out some ideas at the web, but God has been my Rock when dealing with three litlle kids and two extremely strong-willed boys
Hi Gabylagos! One of my favourite quotes that I try to recall on tough days is 1 Samuel 1:27 “I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.” It always centres me again when I remember that quote.
Yes! we actually prayed for our children to come! a good reminder!
I have to say thank you for this post. I feel like I could’ve written it myself. I am mentally exhausted after dealing with some uncharacteristic behaviors by my son (hitting, talking back, kicking, so much anger). I know he is going through a phase but this one is so hard. I too have found myself saying and doing things that I don’t normally do and they are not working any way. I look forward to looking through these blogs you’ve recommended and finding our way again. Thank you.
Sami
Hi Sami. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your comment. That’s exaclty how I felt too. I knew these things weren’t working, but stress and mental exhaustion meant that I just kept doing them. I really hope you enjoy reading through the blogs that I’ve listed and I hope your son’s phase passes soon.
I came across your blog through Childhood 101. Thank you for your honesty. Your senario sounded just like the household I grew up in on a daily basis. My husband and I do our best to be mindful parents and when I am struggling as a parent interestingly enough I find myself reverting back to the way I was spoke to. Once I’ve had time to think and takes some deep breaths, I remind myself of how it made me feel as a child.
This post is going right on my “Parenting Help” Pinterest board. So beautifully written. Like you said above about your parenting board, this is something that I’m going to want to refer to again and again.
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