Finding a Reason to Celebrate Every Day

Posted on March 10, 2013 by Ness

Do you keep a daily journal? This year I’ve started recording little moments from our days in a “one a day” diary. Just a line or two each day, somewhere to record the hilarity that spills from R’s mouth on a daily basis that I never want to forget, or a milestone he has reached. It’s a wonderful way to end my day, to sit and reflect on the day and find one special moment, that one thing that makes me catch my breath a little. A moment that sparkles amidst the daily routine.

Some days this is easy. Our day has flowed contentedly, R and I have been connected and harmonious. We’ve played and made art and learned and explored. There have been cuddles and “I love you’s”. Forts have been built. Stories have been read (over and over and over again). Those days are wonderful treasures, but there are other days when I have to search more deeply for the “moments”. The days when I think to myself “but we didn’t do anything today”. The days when the house is in chaos and just when I clear up one mess, I turn around and find another discarded activity. The days when the meals I prepare with love are met with silence or simply rejected outright, before they are even tasted. The days when my patience is worn thin and coming from a place of love takes all the will power I can muster. The days when it is all too hard.

Those are the days that in some ways, fill me with even more gratitude and love than the easy days. The daily journaling has given me a shift in perspective. I seek and search and am determined to find that one precious moment, and just when I think there is none, a light comes on and I can see many. The discarded broken chalk is not a mess for me to clean up – it is beautiful and bright. Creativity and play and life has been happening here. That is a moment right there. The never ending mountains of washing are not a chore, they are evidence of messy play and digging in the garden and painting and trips to the park. That is another moment. Life is happening and I am blessed. Every day there is a reason to celebrate.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our routines, and the rush of our lives, that things don’t seem to change from day to day, but when we finally stop to look back, everything has changed, and we never even noticed it happening. The daily journaling has made me more mindful. I find myself stopping throughout the day and saying to myself “remember this”. This moment right now is your reason to celebrate.

Do you struggle to find the special moments? Is it sometimes difficult to find the gift of an ordinary day? Shawn of Awesomely Awake had exactly that in mind when she created her latest e-course Cherish the Wow. Shawn is such an inspiration to me – her Abundant Mama e-course and her e-book The Playful Family have helped me celebrate the beauty in every day.

I was so honoured when Shawn asked me to contribute to her Cherish the Wow eCourse. I will be sharing one of my very special “wow” moments.

The Cherish the Wow e-course runs for 5 weeks and begins on March 18.

When you sign up for the Cherish the Wow e-course, you will receive:

10 Mindful Journaling Prompts.

10 Mindful Living Assignments anyone can do, anywhere.

10 WOW moments shared by mothers from around the world (including yours truly).

It is just $20 to join the course, and as Shawn says “all you’ll need for this course are an open mind & heart and a journal. The rest will arrive in your email twice a week.”

Photo credit for the first two photos in this post “D Sharon Pruitt” Thank you D Sharon Pruitt for sharing your beautiful Creative Commons photos!

If this is your first time visiting One Perfect Day – welcome! If you like what you have found, please join us on Facebook or follow us on Pinterest or Twitter where you will find lots of ideas for kids activities, thoughts on parenting, family recipes, home organisation ideas and more.

Now to this week’s Sunday Parenting Party. We invite you to link up your parenting posts, old or new, humorous or heartfelt, and as many as you like. We ask that you don’t link up kids activities. This linky is purely for posts about parenting.

This post contains affiliate links.

A Valentine’s Day Countdown: Messages of love and kindess

Posted on January 29, 2013 by Ness

I am excited to be taking part in the third annual 100 Acts of Kindness Project hosted by Toddler Approved. The project began January 21 and the idea is to perform 100 acts of kindness between then and February 14, when there will be a giant kindess celebration on Valentines Day. Pop over to Toddler Approved for all the details. It’s not too late to join in and there are weekly challenges and daily ideas to inspire you. Remember, no act of kindness is too small!

As part of our 100 acts of kindness, I created a Valentine’s Day countdown. Inspired by our easy DIY Advent Calendar that I made for Christmas, with all the surprise and anticipation of opening a new envelope each day, I thought a similar countdown to Valentine’s Day might be fun. Each morning beginning February 1st, R (4 yrs) will be greeted with a pink envelope. Inside will be a simple act of kindness that we will carry out together. Our acts of kindness will be simple gestures – daily reminders to love and appreciate the people in our life.

SUPPLIES:
* A pink or red envelope (you only need one, I explain why later in this post)
* Scissors
* Glue
* various scrapbook or craft paper
* pens or coloured markers
* notes (either hand written or printed, with acts of kindness)
*blu-tack (optional)

HOW TO MAKE A VALENTINES DAY COUNTDOWN:

This was really quick to put together because I only made one envelope. Even though we will be opening an envelope every morning for the two weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, I am going to use the same envelope each day. I plan to leave the envelope out each morning for R to find, and he can open it up to see which act of kindness we’ll be performing that day. If you wanted to, you could certainly make fourteen envelopes and display them all together. It might be fun to then select a random envelope each day, like a kindness lucky dip!

To make our Valentine’s Day countdown:

1. I began by cutting a heart shape from some scrapbook paper to co-ordinate with the colour of the envelope and then I glued it to the front of the envelope.

2. Next, I cut out fourteen heart shapes from plain white paper. I made these slightly smaller than the larger pink heart that I had already glued to the envelope.

3. On each of the fourteen white hearts I wrote the numbers 1 through 14.

4. I attached the white heart with the number 14 on it to the envelope using blue tack. This is so that I can remove it easily and use the same envelope for each day, simply changing the number on the white heart, counting down each day to Valentine’s Day.

5. I decided on fourteen simple acts of kindness, typed them out and printed them. I cut them into small notes and will insert one note each day into the envelope.

That’s it! A fun and simple way to count down to Valentine’s Day and spread a little kindness along the way.

Here’s our list of acts of kindness that will be in our Valentine’s Day countdown.

Call Daddy at Work to tell him you love him.

Write a thank you note for your teacher. (This will be for R’s daycare teachers where he attends two days a week)

Donate some art materials to daycare. (We’ll be gathering some recycled paper, egg cartons, boxes and making some home made play dough).

Make a meal and take it to our neighbour. (One of our neighbours is very ill and so we’ll take some food over to them to help his family while they are busy dealing with treatment and all the stress and worry they are going through).

Help Daddy by collecting the garbage bins after garbage night.

Paint a picture for Nanna and mail it to her.

Offer help without being asked. Ask Mummy and Daddy what you can do to help them today.

Hold open the door for other people today.

Donate some toys and clothing to goodwill.

Donate some books to our local library.

Make a “welcome home” sign to greet Daddy on the door when he gets home from work.

Pick up rubbish on the ground while we are playing at the park today.

Reach out to a friend at kindy and invite them to join in your games.

Donate food to our local food bank.

What would you add to the list? Let’s share some ideas in the comments below.

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Kids and Screen Time: Teaching Responsibility

Posted on January 20, 2013 by Ness

R’s (4.5 yrs) love of Angry Birds is bordering on obsession. He walks, talks, and breathes Angry Birds. I actually don’t have a problem with this. I love that he is so passionate about something and he talks to me about the strategies he devises to knock down the structures so there is some critical thinking going on there. The concentration and sheer determination on his face when he’s tackling a tricky level is brilliant. He also received two of the “real life” Angry Birds games for Christmas (the Angry Birds: Knock On Wood Game
and Angry Birds Star Wars Fighter Pods AT AT Attack). They are really great games but I’ll leave my reasons for liking them to another post. What I’m writing about today is R’s iPad usage. It had really become excessive and I needed to deal with it fast. Until now, the only rules surrounding R’s iPad usage was that he needed to ask me first before using it. Other than that, he was free to play the apps I downloaded for him when it suited him. This was not usually a problem. He’d play for a while and then move on to something else. In fact for the last few months he had barely touched the iPad at all. All that changed when I downloaded Angry Birds for him.

I’m not blaming Angry Birds for R’s excessive iPad use. The responsibility is all mine. I just wasn’t reigning it in. Last weekend, when I realised that I had managed to get a tonne of work done because R had been on the iPad playing Angry Birds ALL DAY I realised something needed to be done, and fast. Things had also reached the point where if I asked R to turn off the iPad we had MAJOR opposition! I devised a system that set limits but that also gave R independence and choice about his iPad usage. This took all of five minutes to put together and it has worked incredibly well.

Firstly I needed to set a daily time limit and I decided that he could use the iPad for ninety minutes per day. This is a very personal choice. Some families might choose no screen time at all for their kids, others will feel that ninety minutes per week works for them.

As you can see, I kept this pretty simple. On a piece of card stock, I drew a simple chart, with nine segments, and in each segment I wrote the numbers 90, 80, 70 and so on, counting down by ten each time. Each segment represents a ten minute increment within the ninety minute time limit. I wrote the numbers in descending order for a specific reason which I’ll explain later.

Next, I took a different colour of card stock and cut it into nine rectangles to match the size of the segments on the green chart. On each of these nine cards I wrote “10 minutes” in the top left corner.

So here’s how it works. Each silver card represents ten minutes of screen time. R decides how long he would like to use the iPad and then trades in the corresponding number of silver cards. So if he chooses ten minutes, he hands me one card, twenty minutes, two cards etc. The silver cards are placed on the green chart as they are traded in. This is why I wrote the numbers on the green chart in descending order – R is able see at a glance exactly how many minutes he has remaining. In the example above, forty minutes have been used and there are fifty minutes remaining.

I set some ground rules as follows.

RULES FOR SCREEN TIME

1. No more than 30 minutes (3 cards) of screen time in any one sitting.

2. If 20 or more minutes of screen time takes place, then there must be a break of at least one full hour before more screen time happens.

3. Unused screen time does not carry over to the following day. (So if only 50 minutes is used one day, then the remaining 40 minutes are forfeited, they cannot be added on to the next day’s allowance.

4. Screen time ends an hour before bedtime. If there is any screen time remaining at one hour before bedtime, then it is forfeited.

These rules might sound a bit regimented but they have worked extremely well and R has responded so positively to this chart. There have been many other benefits to using this chart that I didn’t expect when I was planning it all out, and I’ve listed these below.

BENEFITS OF SCREEN TIME CARDS AND CHART

1. No more arguments about using the iPad. Using this system has completely eliminated all tantrums and arguments over iPad usage. Hooray! There are two reasons for this. Firstly, having a visual guide to show R how much time is remaining means that he knows exactly what to expect. No surprises for him means no tantrums. Secondly, R has been given independence and respect. Rather than me just dictating to him “yes you can use the iPad but only for ten minutes” he gets to choose how long he’ll use the iPad within the rules and limits set out above.

2. Independence and self regulation. Having the visual guide means that R is learning to ration his screen time. I have been surprised by how many times he has chosen to play on the iPad for just ten minutes, rather than the full thirty minutes that he is allowed per session. He is obviously learning that by spreading the time out, he gets to use the iPad throughout the day, rather than using up all his allotted time in one sitting. He is able to see via the chart whether he has a lot of time remaining or whether he has almost used it all, and so he is limiting himself so as not to run out of time too soon.

3. Counting by tens. Since the silver cards represent ten minute increments, R is learning to count by tens as each time he trades in some cards, we count together what has been used.

4. Learning to tell the time. I have been setting the timer on my phone so that I know when R’s allotted time has ended, but I also wanted him to have a visual guide of how much time is remaining in his current session. I thought about using a kitchen time but while I was at Big W the other day (that’s an Aussie department store similar to Wall-mart in the US) I saw a great wall clock for just $3! How could I pass that up? It is has a large round face, and the numbers are large and clear. Perfect. So now I sit the clock near R when he is using the iPad and I say to him “It is now ten past two, when the big hand reaches the four, it will be twenty past two and it will be time to turn off the iPad.” I like this way of passive teaching. Rather than sitting down to a lesson in telling the time we are simply incorporating it into a real world situation. Eventually, without even realising it, he will learn to tell the time as a by product of restricting his iPad time.

I have actually been surprised by how well this system has worked and how positively R has responded to it. Today, when his Daddy arrived home from work, R wanted to play Angry Birds with him. I explained that he had already used his ninety minutes and he could play something else with Daddy instead. I also explained that tomorrow, he would need to save a silver card until Daddy arrived home so that he could use the iPad with him. R was completely calm and nodded to show he understood. I’m expecting he’ll be saving one of those cards tomorrow.

We keep our chart on the refrigerator and use magnets to attach the silver ten minute cards. You could also use blu-tack or velcro to attach the cards to the main chart. If you have a bit more time, you could even make a felt version of this chart and hang it on the wall. Here’s how ours looks on the fridge. If you like the glittery bottle top magnets, you can read the how-to on my post over at Kids Activities Blog.

Do you limit your children’s screen time? Any tips you’d like to share in the comments?

UPDATE: After one month of using this system I’m excited to share that R’s iPad usage has really been reduced. We still use the chart to monitor his screen time but rarely does he actually use all of the cards in a single day (he’s averaging around 30 minutes a day now) and often, when he has chosen to do a 30 minute block of time in one sitting, he will actually switch the iPad off well before that 30 minutes is up. This system has been a definite win for us!

Now to this week’s linky.

Thank you to everyone who linked up last week. Three of my favourites were:

Schedule Time to Play With Each Child in Large Families – The Golden Gleam
20 Realistic Parenting Resolutions – Awesomely Awake
Yes, You May! – Stories and Children

If you’ve been featured this week, please feel free to grab a Sunday Parenting Party “Ive been featured” button from my sidebar. I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s posts again this week. Please remember that this linky is not for kids activities. We invite you to link up your parenting posts, old or new, humorous or heartfelt, and as many as you like. We ask that you don’t link up kids activities. This linky is purely for posts about parenting. If you do have a kids activity to link up, pop on over to The Weekly Kids Co-op. We would love to see you link up there.

This post contains affiliate links.

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The Bits In Between {and The Sunday Parenting Party linky}

Posted on January 13, 2013 by Ness

Photo credit “D Sharon Pruitt”

Do you ever have those weeks that just fly by in a complete blur? The entire week is taken up with the endless to-do list, meals to prepare, beds to make, washing to fold, groceries to buy and the constant cries of “Mummy, Mummy, Muuuummmmyyy!” and somehow, at the end of the week, the to-do list is inexplicably longer than it was at the start of the week. One of my (many) goals for 2013 is to find something to appreciate in every single day, even on the most mundane of days – *especially* on the mundane days.

I’m intentionally slowing down and looking for the bits in between – the beautiful moments in between all the chaos and craziness. There is beauty in every day, some days I just need to look a little harder. It can be as simple as hot coffee in the morning, or as special as the feeling of a tiny hand slipping into mine. It could be the pride on my son’s face as he shows me his latest lego creation, the vase of Gerberas brightening up my living room that make me smile every time I look at them, or even the bounty of fresh vegetables grown in our own backyard.

To help keep me focused on finding those wonderful bits in between, I’m joining three creative projects.

The Abundant Mama e-course from the inspirational Shawn at Awesomely Awake, is a five week course all about intentional gratitude. I’ve just signed up and I can’t wait to begin. The e-course is designed to inspire Mamas to create their own daily gratitude practice — a new perspective on their life and family, a way to find beauty in the usual day to day routines, strengthen family bonds and provide support and comfort on those challenging days. Will you join me? There are two options for signing up to The Abundant Mama e-course.

OPTION A: The Abundant Mama E-Course.
This option will sign you up to receive the entire course in your inbox to do on your own and at your own pace. Each email includes an action step for both you and your family as well as the writing prompts to get you thinking more deeply about the goodness in your life.

OPTION B: The Abundant Mama Village
This option gives you access to a private and secure Facebook group where you can connect with other Abundant Mamas from around the world. This group is a place to share the goodness in your life — as well as your frustrations. You’ll also receive support from Shawn to help you stay on track, bonus writing prompts and weekly inspirations.

The second project I’ve joined is Project 365 via Peas and Carrots Studio
Project 365 is a commitment to take a photo a day for an entire year. I’ve talked before about the many hundreds of photos I take every week. Why sign up for a photo a day project when I am already so snap happy? I’m basing my theme for the year on The Gift of an Ordinary Day. It’s keeping me focused. For me, this project is about finding that one moment that defines my day, the gift within that day, finding a moment I’m thankful for. So it’s more about being mindful about my day than the act of taking a photo. Even after just two weeks this project is already making me stop and think, and value what’s around me. I’m loving it. I began this project on January 1 and you can follow my photos on Instagram (@NessOnePerfectDay) or search the project’s hashtag #peascarrots365 . Many people choose a day of significance (like January 1, or their birthday) to begin their Project 365 but you can begin any time at all. If you want to play along visit the Peas and Carrots Studio Facebook page or sign up for their monthly newsletter.

Project 52 at Awesomely Awake
If a photo a day doesn’t suit your schedule, how about a photo a week? Project 52 is another fantastic offering from Shawn at Awesomely Awake. This is a year long photo-a-week project but it is so much more than that. It is all about mindful living – staying awake in mind, body and spirit. Each week Shawn posts a new prompt to get you thinking about your life, your family, your world. What I’m loving so much about Project 52 is that the prompts are just enough to give me some focus and direction, but are still general enough for me to make this project my own. As Shawn herself says, “This is YOUR project, too … you get to make up your own rules.”

How do you find “the bits in between”? What are your tips for noticing the gift of an ordinary day?

Now to this week’s linky.

Thank you to everyone who linked up last week. Three of my favourites were:

All You Can Do Is Your Best – The Pleasantest Thing
10 Reasons To Play Outside With your Kids This Winter – My Nearest and Dearest
Don’t Ever Stop Being You – Kids*Stuff *World

We invite you to link up your parenting posts, old or new, humorous or heartfelt, and as many as you like. We ask that you don’t link up kids activities. This linky is purely for posts about parenting. If you do have a kids activity to link up, pop on over to The Weekly Kids Co-op. We would love to see you link up there.

This post contains affiliate links.

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The ABC’s of Connecting with our Kids

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Ness

Photo credit: © Alena Root | Dreamstime.com

If this is your first time visiting One Perfect Day – welcome! If you like what you have found, please join us on Facebook or follow us on Pinterest or Twitter. We are always sharing new ideas to play, learn, create and explore.

If you’re a regular reader here at One Perfect Day, you’ll know that I’m passionate about building strong, positive and nurturing relationships with our kids. Here’s a list of ways to build a more connected relationship with your child. Some of these are very simple ideas but it’s those little things that can make all the difference.

A is for …

Acceptance - let your children be themselves. Accept them for who they are – it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

B is for…

Be Brave – trust your instincts. There is so much parenting information out there, sometimes it feels like we are doing it all wrong. Believe in yourself – you know your child better than anyone and you know what works for you and your family.

Be in the moment – Put down the phone, shut down the laptop, and be fully present, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day.

Just Breathe – take a time out, and I don’t mean your kids, I mean you! When things are starting to get a little crazy, take a few minutes to just breathe, refocus and keep calm.

C is for…

Cuddles – never underestimate the power of cuddles! Let your child know exactly how much you love to cuddle them. Tell them “Your cuddles make the whole day better!”, “Your cuddles make me smile” or “You give the BEST cuddles!”. Try it, and watch your child’s face light up.

Confidence - let your children know that you believe in them. Be their greatest advocate and watch their confidence soar.

D is for…

Dance - turn up some music and have an impromptu dance party in the living room. Jump around and get silly. Instant smiles! This works even on the worst days – in fact it is guaranteed to work on bad days.

E is for…

Empathy – When we do our best to see a situation from our children’s point of view, instead of just our own, things are much easier to resolve. Frustration is eliminated (both ours and our child’s) and our children are calmer because they feels heard and understood.

Look them in the eyes – yes, it can be that simple. Whenever they enter the room, stop what you’re doing, look them in the eyes, and smile (and get ready to see their face light up).

Encouragement – be a positive voice for your child. Be their greatest champion. Compliment them. Say something wonderful about them to your friends or another grown up while in ear-shot of your child. They will love it.

F is for…

Family traditions – make your own family traditions, they are the foundation of family bonds and you are building special childhood memories for your kids. It can something as fun and crazy as popcorn for dinner on Friday nights or meaningful and heartfelt like special Advent traditions.

G is for…

Gratitude - each day, think of at least one reason why you are grateful for your children and then tell them. Start a gratitude jar – each day write down one small thing for which you are grateful and then pop the piece of paper into the jar. At the end of the year, gather together with your children and read all of your gratitude notes.

H is for…

Humour - keeping things light during stressful days can mean all the difference between a complete meltdown and turning things right around. Try to find the silly side of situations and have a laugh.

I is for…

Be Interested - show a genuine interest in your child – their hobbies, their interests, the things they like to do. If it matters to them, let them know it matters to you as well.

J is for…

Jokes – have some kid friendly jokes up your sleeve and pull them out during car trips, at the dinner table , or during stressful days. You could even write them down and pop little notes in with their lunch boxes. Need some inspiration? Childhood Beckons has 30 child friendly jokes to get you started – gauranteed giggles! Nurturestore also has a free printable of 24 Christmas jokes for kids. Pin it now for next Christmas and add the jokes to your advent calendar.

K is for…

Kindness - This one’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Be kind to your children. Model kindness. Teach them how to be kind. Creative with Kids has a list of 100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child and Awesomely Awake has a lovely post on 6 ways to teach your children how to be kind.

L is for…

Listen - listen to your children, whenever they have something to tell you, no matter what. You will be letting them know they are important and valued. You will also learn about who they are and what really matters to them.

M is for…

Memories – building a strong and connected relationship with your child is all about creating wonderful childhood memories.

Mindful parenting – listening, accepting, being present. Everything on this ABC’s list is an example of mindful parenting and it’s a path to a connected relationship with your child.

Photo credit “D Sharon Pruitt”

N is for…

Nurture – nurture not only your children, but yourself as well! When things aren’t going smoothly, when our kids are acting out and our patience is wearing thin, look inwards. Spend some time reflecting on what is causing you stress and then take steps to deal with those things in your life that are stopping you from feeling calm and connected. Be kind to yourself. This will ensure that fatigue and anxiety does not spill over to your parenting.

O is for…

Outside – spend some time outside every day, no matter what the weather. I’m not naturally an outdoorsy type of person, but whenever we are having a bad day my first solution is to head outside and it works every time. It can restore balance and peace to an otherwise stressful day. Sometimes a walk in the garden is all it takes. Raining outside? Splash in some puddles! Middle of winter? There are some great reasons to play outside even in winter – check out this post from My Nearest and Dearest. Need some inspiration for creating family memories outdoors? Connecting Family and Seoul has lots of ideas.

Photo credit “D Sharon Pruitt”

P is for…

Play – the power of play cannot be underestimated. Even ten minutes a day playing with your kids can make all the difference. We often like to begin the day with play. It can set the tone for the whole day.

Patience – One of my favourite quotes is a Swedish proverb “Love me when I least deserve it, for that it when I need it most”. Parenting is a tough gig and our patience is tested many, many times a day. If we can try to remember that difficult behaviour from our kids is the expression of a deeper need, and if we try to react with empathy and love, we will be building the foundations of a connected relationship with our children.

Q is for…

Questions - ask your children questions. Show them you are interested. Be fully present for them when they ask you a question. Stop what you’re doing, give them your undivided attention and answer them, no matter how many times they ask the same thing, or how trivial the question might seem.

R is for…

Read – reading with your kids has so many benefits. Apart from the obvious benefits of enhancing literacy skills, time spent together reading is a wonderful opportunity to slow down and spend one on one time with your child.

S is for…

Snuggles – snuggle under a blanket and watch a movie together. Let your child choose the movie.

T is for…

Time – their is no greater gift you can give your child than your time.

U is for…

Understanding - being understanding will reduce conflict and tantrums. When they are shown understanding, our children will feel heard, validated and accepted.

V is for…

Value them - show your children you value them by getting them involved in simple family decisions. Ask them their opinions. Value their input.

Validate their feelings - when your child is crying, or frustrated and on the verge of a tantrum, simply make a statement which acknowledes and validates their feelings. Simply saying “You feel frustrated”, or “You are sad because…” can turn a situation around in an instant.

W is for…

Waiting – when you ask your child a question, wait for them to respond. Especially when they are very young, give them time to firstly process what you have asked them, and secondly what it is they want to say, before you interrupt them and ask them again or guess at what they are trying to say and answer for them. Sometimes it seems as though they are not listening, but they are, they just need time to formulate what they want to say. This can sometimes take minutes which can feel like forever, but if you wait patiently, and let them answer in their own time, you will be instilling them with so much confidence and self worth.

Photo credit “D Sharon Pruitt”

X is for…

xox0x – lots of kisses and hugs!

Experiences – try something new with your kids. Need some inspiration? Danielle at 52 Brand New writes about trying a new experience with her children every week – 52 new experiences each year. How brilliant is that?

Y is for…

Yes – sometimes we fall into patterns of saying no, or “later” or “in a minute”. Try saying yes a little more. Yes we can read that book right now. Yes we can go to the park this afternoon. Yes you matter to me.

Z is for…

Zen – find your parenting zen. Yes it is possible! Be forgiving of yourself when things aren’t going smoothly, and remember, you don’t have to be perfect. Your children love you for just being you!

What would you add to the list?

I really hope you enjoyed my ABC’s of connecting with our kids. I’m joining in with the ABC’s series being hosted all this week by the Kid Blogger Network. Be sure to visit the blogs listed below who are also writing about parenting and family topics. You can also view the full list of just under 70 participating blogs by clicking on the ABC’s button above. There you will find ABC’s on parenting, play, creating, exploring and learning fun. Enjoy!

Being a Hands on Mom from hands on : as we grow
Connecting with your Kids from One Perfect Day
Family Field Trips with Kids from Edventures with Kids
Fun Healthy Snacks for Kids from Juggling with Kids
Kids Party Ideas from Mama Pea Pod
Mama Survival from The Dizzy Mom
Organized Home from Mamas Like Me
Printables from Mama Miss
Raising Boys from Boy Mama Teacher Mama
Raising Eco-Friendly Kids from Kitchen Counter Chronicles
Raising Girls from Mess for Less
Raising a Healthy Kid from Living Life Intentionally
Raising a Thinking Child from The Outlaw Mom
Raising Toddlers from Home Learning Journey
Raising a World Citizen from All Done Monkey
Simply Celebrating Holidays as a Family from Inspired by Family Magazine
Teaching Kids about Money from Carrots are Orange
The Family Dinner Table from Connecting Family & Seoul
Trying A New Experience with Your Children from 52 Brand New
Values for Children from True Aim Education

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Setting Goals with Kids (and The Sunday Parenting Party)

Posted on January 7, 2013 by Ness

Photo credit “D Sharon Pruitt”

Kids can benefit so much from setting goals. It can really lay the groundwork for some important skills in adulthood. Until now, I had never really been serious about setting goals for myself at the start of the new year, let alone introducing R to this concept. All that has changed in a BIG way for 2013 and I have set myself many goals this year. I spent an entire day writing “2013 – THE PLAN” (more on that next week) and so I thought this would be the perfect time to teach R the benefits of goal setting in a fun and age appropriate way. R is at an age now where he is really grasping what the turn of a new year means and his excitement for our traditional New Year’s eve picnic and fireworks with our dearest friends was sky high this year. So, I thought I’d harness that excitement and channel it into some goal setting.

MAKE THE GOALS THEIRS, NOT YOURS
It was important to me to allow R to set his own goals – no matter what they ended up being. As stellar as some of my suggestions would have been (to actually eat a vegetable other than mashed potato, to say “Hooray!” when I tell him it’s time for a bath, and my personal favourite – to let us sleep past 6am just once), I think there would be the same level of success if I set myself a goal to never eat chocolate ever again. No, the goals had to be his. It’s all about process not product. If he’s going to learn anything from this process, then he needs to achieve his goals, and he’ll have a much greater chance of success if he’s working towards goals that are meaningful and important to him.

QUESTIONS TO ASK KIDS FOR GOAL SETTING
R is 4, so obviously I wanted to keep things simple, achievable and most importantly fun. Just before Christmas, I read this wonderful post from Julie over at Creekside Learning about preparing kids for New Year’s Eve celebrations and setting goals for the new year. It’s a brilliant post with several ideas suggested based on different age groups. (There is LOTS of inspiration to be had over at Creekside Learning so please do pop over and take a look around). I loved the categories of questions that Julie asked her kids and so I modeled our goal setting on those same topics. I began by speaking with R about what a goal actually is, and I gave him some examples of the goals that I am working towards this year. I then asked him whether he would like to set some goals himself this year. When he said that he would, I asked him the following questions.

1. What would you like to learn this year?
2. How would you like to spend more time together as a family?
3. What kind or helpful thing would you like to do this year?
4. What would you like to do more of this year?

I didn’t just fire off the questions interview style, although if your child is older and understands the concepts a bit better you certainly could. I engaged R in a conversation and gave him prompts and examples to help him understand the questions. Here’s what he decided:

1. What would you like to learn this year? How to swim (This really surprised me as he took water confidence classes last Summer and didn’t seem to enjoy them at all. I love that this little exercise helped me find out he really wants to pursue swimming.)
2. How would you like to spend more time together as a family? Family movie nights (This happens to be one of my goals too. Great minds!)
3. What kind or helpful thing would you like to do this year? Donate my old toys to charity.
4. What would you like to do more of this year? Plant more flowers in the garden.

STEPS TO ACCOMPLISH GOALS WITH KIDS
To help R achieve his goals I’ll be following the same method that I’m using to achieve my own goals this year. I’ll elaborate on that later this week, but in summary we will:

1. Choose the goals. (The WHAT)
2. Determine the steps we need to take to accomplish each goal. (The HOW)
3. Decide when each step will be worked on. (The WHEN)
4. Celebrate when each goal is achieved. (The CELEBRATION)

We’ll keep it all very simple and be deliberate and methodical in our approach. Most of all, we’ll keep it fun!

Do your kids set goals at the beginning of a new year? How do you help them to succeed? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below.

Welcome back to The Sunday Parenting Party – our first link up for 2013. I’ve really missed this linky while we’ve been on a short break over the holidays. We invite you to link up your parenting posts, old or new, humorous or heartfelt, and as many as you like. We ask that you don’t link up kids activities such as crafts, games etc If you do have a kids activity to link up, pop on over to The Weekly Kids Co-op. We would love to see you link up there.

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I want to be the Mum Who Climbs Trees

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Ness

Photo shared with kind permission of Taming The Goblin

Who in your life inspires you to be a better parent? I recently came across the photo you see above. This beautiful shows The Monko, who writes one of my favourite blogs Taming The Goblin (she’s also one of my lovely co-hosts of The Sunday Parenting Party), and her son, Goblin. When I saw that photo I immediately thought “I want to be the Mum who climbs trees.” I thought “What an awesome memory for Goblin. What kind of memories am I creating for my own son? How will he remember me?” Sometimes I think I hold back too much, observe rather than participate. I don’t want to be that Mum. I want to be right there in the moment, climbing that tree. I used to be much more like that, racing down the slides and swinging on the swings at the park, but lately, I’ve been sitting on the sidelines. Maybe I’m just tired, maybe I just need to give myself a break, but seeing that photo woke me up a little. It was exactly what I needed. It’s all about grabbing the moment while it’s there, without hesitation, without looking for reasons to stop yourself. Have fun. It’s not complicated.

Now it’s time for this week’s Sunday Parenting Party. Thanks to everyone who linked up last week. Here are a few of my favourites.

Two into three don’t go: Is it ‘cruel’ to have only one child?
Magical Moments: (AKA) The Gift of an Ordinary Day
Drop Everything and Swing: Snapshot of Parenting with Purpose

Thank you again to everyone who linked up. If you’ve been featured this week, please feel free to grab a Sunday Parenting Party “Ive been featured” button from my sidebar. I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s posts again this week.

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Enough is a Feast – 21 Days of Gratitude

Posted on November 17, 2012 by Ness

This post is Day 17 of the “21 Days of Gratitude – A Challenge for the Whole Family.” I am joining in a wonderful project, created by the lovely Mari of Inspired by Family, to spread the love in November for 21 Days of Contagious Gratitude. The idea is all about intentional gratitude – thinking about something for which you are grateful, every day in November leading up to Thanksgiving, and then tweeting, updating your Facebook status, blogging or sharing a pic on Instagram to show what you are feeling grateful for that day. Mari’s thought was that this would be contagious and seeing all of this gratitude would inspire others to consider what they are grateful for and the good feelings would spread around the globe. If you haven’t already joined in, it’s not too late! Head on over to the I nspired by Family Magazine blog and be inspired by the wonderful bloggers who are sharing a beautiful collection of 21 days of being thankful posts and start sharing your gratitude in whichever way you like.

I have so much to be grateful for, that when I sat down to write this post, I wasn’t sure where to begin. Should I write a list of 100 reasons to be grateful? Should I write about my family and the love they bring to my life every day, or my friends who support me through every moment and make me laugh even on the toughest days? I began to think about what lessons I needed to learn about gratitude and then I remembered the quote you see above. “Enough is a Feast”. This is a Buddhist proverb that stopped me in my tracks when I first heard it. (If you are a fan of Mary Poppins you’ll know she also espoused a version of this sentiment in the scene when she uses magic to clean Jane and Michael’s nursery!)

It is so easy to fall into the mindset that having more will make us happier. I’ve been so caught up lately with focusing on the negative and what I don’t have – things like not living in my dream home, not being able to take a family vacation, or the fact that our dishwasher is broken and we won’t be able to replace it for a few months. Will life be altered because I have to spend time washing the dishes by hand for a few months? Of course not. That dishwasher was a non-essential, and lamenting it’s loss isn’t going to help anyone. All this negativity is just holding me back from focusing on the wonderful things that I DO have in my life, things that really mater. Actually I should be ashamed for being upset about it – talk about first world problems! I am lucky to live in a part of the world where I can walk into my kitchen and turn on a tap with fresh running water instead of having to walk for miles to collect water for my family. So today I’m focusing on the sentiment that enough is a feast. Excess will bring no more happiness than just having enough. I am taking note of all that I do have, and reminding myself that it is already enough and I am already feasting.

I am so thankful for the ordinary and mundane, the every day events. Today, those moments were: making a meal for my family, and having access to fresh and healthy produce to make that meal. Tickles and cuddles on the sofa with my son. A quiet moment to have a cup of coffee in the backyard in the warm sunshine. Finding a drawing from my son tucked inside my handbag. A very loud house, filled with playful shouts and laughter. This is more than enough. This is my feast.

What are you grateful for today? Let’s share in the comments below.

This post is Day 17 of the “21 Days of Gratitude – A Challenge for the Whole Family.” Head on over to the I nspired by Family Magazine blog and be inspired by the wonderful bloggers who are sharing an inspiring collection of 21 days of being thankful posts.

I’m also linking up with Real Life Wednesday over at Picklebums. Pop on over to see what real life looks like for others and share your random, beautiful, funny real life stories.

If this is your first time visiting One Perfect Day – welcome! If you like what you have found, please join us on Facebook or follow us on Pinterest. We are always sharing new ideas to play, learn, create and explore.

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The Sunday Parenting Party

Posted on November 12, 2012 by Ness

Thanks to everyone who linked up to The Sunday Parenting Party last week. I discovered three new-to-me blogs that I absolutely adore and will now be following. I love that about this linky – I’m always discovering new favourite places. This week I’m featuring nine, (yes, you read that right, nine!) posts from last week. That’s one post for you to read each day this week (with three for Sunday! haha)

Parenting with Joy. Keeping a calm presence. (Triple T Mum)
Do you find it challenging to stay calm as a parent? This heartfelt post offers some practical tips.

Mummy, can you spell love? (Just for Daisy)
A lovely reminder of the most precious gift we can give our children – time.

The Keeper of All Kid Knowledge (Picklebums)
Are you the keeper of all kid knowledge at your place?

Life with a Spirited Child (Four Little Piglets)
Such an honest post about the challenges and reality of raising a spirited child.

Just ask for help! (Stuff with Thing)
Looking at life from your child’s eyes.

Toilet Training: Reality Check (Octavia and Vicky)
Avoiding toilet training battles and listening to our kids.

Toddler Food Ideas: Breakfast, lunch and snacks. (Learn with Play at Home)
Stuck in a food rut? Here are a tonne of ideas!

5 Reasons to Explore Our Own Backyard (Mummy Musings and Mayhem)
Look no further than your own backyard for family bonding time.

Helping Kids Explore Emotions Through Picture Books (My Little Bookcase)
Make these cute bookmarks to help teach kids about emotions.

Now to this week’s linky.

The Beauty and Wonder of Waldorf – The Sunday Parenting Party linky

Posted on October 21, 2012 by Ness

Today I am absolutely delighted to be welcoming the lovely Kelly, creator of Happy Whimsical Hearts, to the blog. Today Kelly is sharing some thoughts about Waldorf, a philosophy which has fascinated me for a long time. I adore the handmade toys, the emphasis placed on nature and the changing seasons, and the calm, gentle rhythm of the Waldorf lifestyle. I’ve learnt so much from reading Happy Whimsical Hearts, and I’m beyond happy that Kelly is here today. Thank you Kelly!

~ Ness

Waldorf is beautiful

And I don’t just mean the trappings of Waldorf…

… the gnomes, rainbows, play silks and candlelight

{although these are very beautiful too}

{Outside at our Waldorf Playgroup}

I mean the deeper stuff ~ the moments of beauty leading to wonder

{and mind you I am still very much learning about Waldorf myself}

♡

The focus on the seasons and nature…

drawing attention to the wheel of the year

{Spring Nature Table}

And getting in touch with the flow from Spring to Summer…

Autumn to Winter…

{Winter Nature Table}

Immersing ourselves in the feeling of each season…

The sense of excited expectation as we observe life bursting forth during Spring…

The heavy heat of Summer and the splash of cooling water

{Hot summer days}

Crunching leaves and drawing in the earthy scent of Autumn

And embracing Winter’s chilly freshness

{Enjoying our Winter garden)

Celebrating the seasonal changes with crafting and baking

Using fruits and vegetables that are in season

Picking them off the bush or pulling them from the ground

{Blackberry picking}

Nurturing a connection with nature’s rhythm ♡

*****

Kelly is an Australian mum to Dino Boy (4) and Little Miss Q (1).

Kelly is aiming to fill their childhood with magic, through
imaginative play, homemade toys and the great outdoors (or their
backyard!), crafts and baking.

You can read more about their Waldorf inspired days at Happy Whimsical Hearts. Or find them on Facebook and Pinterest

Now to this week’s Sunday Parenting Party linky.

Thank you to everyone who linked up. Here are just a few of my favourites from last week.

25 Things To Tell My Daughters – Here Come The Girls
Can We Go To The Ballet Again Please – Just For Daisy
5 Ways To Constructively Deal With Your Kid’s Mood Swings – Our School At Home

If you’ve been featured this week, please feel free to grab a Sunday Parenting Party “Ive been featured” button from my sidebar. I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s posts again this week. We invite you to link up your parenting posts, old or new, humorous or heartfelt, and as many as you like. We ask that you don’t link up kids activities. This linky is purely for posts about parenting. If you do have a kids activity to link up, pop on over to The Weekly Kids’ Co-op. We would love to see you link up there.